Sunday, August 15, 2010

Do you believe in destiny?

I want to share with you an interesting experience I had this weekend. Let me preface the story by telling you that recently I have been wondering if things really happen for a reason, or if things just happen...randomly. When I say "things happen for a reason" I am speaking of the idea that things are somehow predetermined. For example, sometimes people will say, "it was meant to happen, or it wasn't meant to happen" as if those events in question were already "written". So, keeping this idea in mind I decided to experiment.

Yesterday, I decided to wash my car, and because of the fact that I have been trying to change my routine (i.e. taking different freeways and streets, and going to different restaurants) I ended up at a car wash that I do not usually go to. I paid for the wash, and I went to sit down under a shade so that I could read my book while waiting for my car. As I sat there I looked up and around a few times. On one of these occasions I saw a girl sitting at the other end of the waiting area. We exchanged a very quick glance. I kept reading my book. A few minutes later, the girl walked to my side of the area and proceeded to check on her car. When she returned she sat two chairs away from me. The chair between us remained unoccupied. When she sat next to me I began an inner debate about whether or not things really happen (are predetermined, "written") for a reason or if things just happen randomly. I wondered if it was meant for her to sit next to me, or if she sat next to me for no other reason than the fact that there was a chair available. I tried to continue reading my book, but I couldn't. There was a gentle breeze blowing, and I could smell her perfume. It was very gentle and pleasant. I felt my blood begin to rush within my veins. (In the middle of all of this I could see that she would look up and stare in my direction.) "Should I talk to her? Was I meant to come to this car wash to meet this girl? Are things predetermined, or do we make things happen? If I talk to her, end up having a relationship, and live happily ever after, then will people say that it was meant for us to meet? If I don't talk to her, and never see her again, then was that meant to be? Were my daughters meant to be born? Was I meant to have a bad marriage? Or are all of these events just random? Is my ex-wife the woman that I was "supposed" to meet, or could my ex-wife have been any other woman?" All of these questions kept racing through my head. Then she sneezed. I thought, "No way...what a perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. I could tell her she is blessed, then I could ask her what text she is reading, what school she goes to, etc." I decided, however, to experiment. I thought, if I was somehow meant to meet this girl and be with her, then I will meet her again. So, I didn't say anything to her. I pretended to be focused on my book. I continued reading, and when my car was finished I walked away. I could see her looking at me as I walked to my car.

What do you believe?

DB

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

On Love

Those who believe that love is mystical are fooling themselves.  Love has to be created.  Love is an illusion.  It isn't born out of nothingness.  If it was, then marriages would last, and people wouldn't cheat.  After all, something so spiritual as love is supposed to be never ending, right? Wrong.

Humans, by nature get bored easily.  Nothing is more boring than being with the same person for years at a time.  Really, think about it.  Have you ever been on vacation for an extended period of time?  Perhaps you've been unemployed?  After the initial shock of losing your job, you eventually settle in to your new routine.

Staying home can be a very nice experience.  Everyone is racing to work, and there you are at home.  You wake up when you are done sleeping, turn on the television, read a book, and find countless other ways to spend your time.  Suddenly, something strange happens.  You begin to miss work.  Why?

We humans need constant change.  We can't deal with repetition and monotony.  Marriage is nothing more than repetition and monotony.  Sure, there are those lucky few who seem to have been blessed with romance and love.  You know, those couples who are always kissing and hugging and being so loving to each other?  Let me creep in here for just a second.  Often times, those loving couples have more problems than you and your feuding muse.

All this to get back to the theme of this blog site.  Married women are deeply yearning for adventure.  After the passion fades they all claim to "love" their husbands.  However, this "love" no longer has any passion.  The love they feel is a brotherly love.  I've met many married women who tell me the same thing.  "I love him, but I am not in love with him."  Then we close the hotel room door and get down to business.

R



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